I get these “Notes from the Universe” on most days and the other day this was my note:
The top 10 spiritual ways, Lisa, to make friends, find love, trim down, shape up, defeat boredom, discover your purpose, make a fortune, and shine your light:
- Get quiet.
- Start anywhere.
- Lean into it.
- Open your heart.
- Keep busy.
- Schedule play.
- Ask for help.
- Don’t look back.
- Give more hugs.
- Feel gratitude.
I thought….hmm…those pretty much sum up some of the major life lessons I have learned, mostly from participating in transformational trainings and leading trainings.
Now, they all make sense, and of course we could just “go do them,” however “living” a lesson is different than being aware of a lesson.
So, I thought I would take each “way” and give you my life learned lesson with each one.
Get quiet. Well, the easy one here is meditate. Get quiet and go within. Within the stillness there is beauty, peace, space, and freedom. I believe that; however, I am an inconsistent meditator. Pretty lousy at it… fall asleep, think about my to do list, wish it were done.
Now, don’t get me wrong…meditate people! Use support, Deepak Chopra, Transcendental Meditation, Headspace, there are many. And “get quite” for me also means, stop and be present in the moment. Think before you speak sometimes. Be clear on your purpose when you speak. Be a great listener. Ask great questions. Be interested vs. interesting. Listen to the sounds of your child play, sing, laugh, sleep. Take a walk in nature WITHOUT your headset in.
Perhaps in the quiet, life sings its melody and God/The Universe kisses us gently.
Start anywhere. Yes, yes! Do something! Write a blog 🙂 Try network marketing, go to a yoga class, ask the cute one on a date. This is sometimes the hardest thing….just to do some THING. So, get honest with yourself… what do you want to be or do that you are not acting on?
Write it down and then write down 5 things (not big ones necessarily) you could do to START. And then pick one and do it… and tell a friend, coach, mentor that you are going to do it so they support you in being accountable. Then do the next one… and don’t stop until you’ve done all 5!
And then you’re off…
Lean into it. I have always assumed I knew what lean into it means and there is a little voice In my head that has always said… “well, you think that’s what it means.” So, here goes: Go towards your fear, rather than away from your fear.
In the transformational work I train and coach, I have always said, “be a heat seeking missile for what you fear most.” Lean into it is a little like that but not as scary. I appreciate that it means move toward the uncomfortable. Have conversations that are out of your comfort zone. Go for the job/client/girl or guy outside your box. Lean into your sadness or grief, feel it, it’s OK to hurt. And have compassion with yourself for all of it. If you haven’t read author Brene Brown’s work… please do. She gets this big time.
Open your heart. For me, this one is top priority. And by far for some of us, the most challenging and threatening. The only reason any of us wouldn’t open our heart (who doesn’t love an open-hearted person!) is our fear of being hurt, rejected or abandoned. I know for me that’s why I’m still afraid to be vulnerable. I remember when I was in my first transformational course and my heart broke wide open. I felt so much love I thought I would burst. Now I feel it with my kids, my family, my friends and so often when I am training and coaching.
Open your heart is about being loving when you don’t want to, feel hurt, or find it easier to judge or shut down. Being generous with yourself, finding compassion as well as strength to have the tough, honest conversations.
Challenge: Ask yourself, especially when you are triggered…”Am I being open-hearted right now?”….Unlock the door to your heart (you have the key.)
Keep busy. Ok, overachievers… be careful here. Remember there are important times to “get quiet.” My life lesson here is… HAVE A PURPOSE AND A PLAN. Have a purpose means that there is something you are up to that is calling you forward in your life. After the basic survival needs, this is what keeps people alive. We all know of couples that have been married 60 plus years and when one spouse dies, the other often dies quickly. They lost their ‘purpose’.
Your purpose may be raising amazing children, inspiring your family, leading your organization, making a difference, transforming the community. What moves you, keeps you excited, motivated and willing to overcome obstacles? I think you have one that you are already living or you are avoiding moving into that purpose. Everyone on this planet has a unique contribution and gift that deserves to be unleashed…are you aligned with yours? If not, find a coach, workshop, mentor to support you.
The plan part is simple; once you are clear on your purpose…create a plan and strategy to make it happen. Don’t be in “hope” that it will fall from the sky into your lap. Use the “ #2 start anywhere” and put yourself in motion. You can always adjust your plan.
Schedule play. Thank goodness for this reminder. We are a serious lot.
This is way bigger than going to a Lakers game! What lights you up…snowboarding, tennis, golf, flying, fishing, salsa dancing, bird watching, hiking, kayaking…?
I AM NOT CONSIDERING VIDEO GAMES PLAY HERE!!!! Don’t get me started on the level of addiction our culture has with technology and video games. Play is freeing, fun, exciting, joyful. Video games are stress inducing and stimulate the same part of the brain as drugs. Enjoy them if you must, and I ask you to limit the time, especially for your kids.
Play allows you to excite your unconscious and stimulate create juices… that’s why Google and Apple and many organizations have basketball courts and other “play” stations on their campuses.
If you are overwhelmed with busy-ness, then schedule your play. We all need it! Check out famous TV Producer Shonda Rimes Ted Talk on this:
Ask for help. This actually goes with being vulnerable…asking for help. Just because you ask for help does not mean you are weak or helpless! Asking for “assistance” is brave and giving. It takes courage to ask and whoever you ask gets to contribute to you, which makes them feel better. You may ask for help when you really don’t know “how” to do something.
I believe the most courageous way to ask for help is when you can’t “see” something. It may be that you can’t see yourself and asking for feedback can best serve you. Or you are in the middle of a situation and can’t see from an elevated place; others can give you insight and perspective.
Ask for help/support when you are up to something big! The synergy of many minds, talents and energies can enhance your project multifold. People love to support you when you are passionate and inspired! Go for it.
Don’t look back. In our trainings, we use the analogy that life is like a sailboat. If you are sailing a sailboat, you cannot sail your boat by standing at the back of the boat and looking at where you have been. You must stand at the front of the boat and steer your boat where you want to go.
Too often, I notice people hanging on to the past, either being victimized by the events of the past (or the people) or hanging on the great life they used to have. NEWSFLASH: You cannot change the past. You can learn from it, be “bigger” than it, accept it and even be grateful for it.
So, just like the boat has to have a “back” to remain afloat, your past made you the unique, extraordinary human being you are today. Accept it and keep your energy moving forward.
Give more hugs. Yes, you open-hearted amazing you, give more hugs!
I would like to expand this one! I challenge you to give more hugs to you.
Not only physically hug yourself (yes try it…especially all you big, manly men), hug yourself emotionally. Literally, say nice things to yourself.
In her extraordinary book, “You Can Heal Your Life” author and thought leader, Louise Hay who recently passed away, says to look yourself in the mirror and say, “ I love and approve of myself.” Why, because most of us don’t. Our negative self-talk manifests in doubt and disease.
Have compassion with yourself. Most of the time, you are doing the best you can given what you know. And your increased “hugging” of you will expand to the increased “hugging” of your loved ones. Emotionally, spiritually and physically.
And HUG OUR PLANET. We know the data and statistics. We are using up Mother Earth at an alarming rate. Do the “doable” things. Rigorously recycle, move from plastic to paper or glass, elect officials that are committed to doing something. Be a consumer for companies that support our ecosphere. Hug on!
Feel gratitude. We left the best for last. I love that it says “feel” gratitude not act grateful, speak gratitude…actually FEEL gratitude. In feeling gratitude, it is impossible for you to be a victim, or judgy, or grumpy.
Love flows right out of gratitude. In gratitude there is space and flow.
I often talk about the “Monsters of Mediocrity” being guilt, blame and resentment. And the anecdote to those are what I call the “Habits of Happiness”, personal responsibility and gratitude.
Practice feeling gratitude when you are most upset, angry, frustrated and irritated. Try it in traffic, or at work, or perhaps that magic dinner or bedtime with you kids.
Many people recommend a gratitude journal at night or in the morning. And during the day, take a moment to feel grateful. Perhaps it’s the electricity that works in your home or office (think Puerto Rico), or the health and well being of your loved ones (think Las Vegas or Texas), or that you are reading this blog and must be so darn happy to get to the end of it.
I want to acknowledge Mike Dooley and his “Notes from the Universe” in inspiring this blog. If you want to sign up for the Notes.. go to www.tut.com. The Notes are free and are a wonderful way to feel gratitude.